Jeffrey Dahmer "I Chews You" Greeting Card

Jeffrey Dahmer "I Chews You" Card: Twisted True Crime Romance

We are all hungry for a little love and affection—some of us just have vastly more concerning appetites. The Jeffrey Dahmer "I Chews You" Greeting Card from The Original Underground serves up the sickest romantic pun in modern true crime lore. Featuring a deadpan portrait of the infamous Milwaukee monster in prison orange stamped with the bone-chilling caption "I CHEWS YOU," this twisted greeting card is built strictly for partners with pitch-black humor, morbid fascinations, and a shared obsession with macabre documentaries.

Ditch the sickeningly sweet supermarket valentines and send something truly unhinged. Each 5x7 inch folded card is professionally printed on heavyweight, premium luster card stock that highlights eerie photographic clarity and sharp, blood-curdling contrast. Kept completely blank inside, it leaves you total freedom to write intense romantic declarations, twisted inside jokes, or your deepest devotions. Every card comes complete with a crisp matching mailing envelope, sealed and ready to unleash.

Jeffrey Dahmer Greeting Card Specifications:

• Product Type: Dark comedy greeting card / true crime romantic stationery
• Artwork Theme: Jeffrey Dahmer prison portrait featuring "I CHEWS YOU" morbid parody text
• Dimensions: Folded 5" x 7"
• Paper Stock: Heavyweight premium luster finish greeting card stock
• Interior: Completely blank inside for personalized handwritten messages
• Included: Includes 1 matching mailing envelope
• Packaging: Sealed in a protective clear sleeve

Card Dimensions: Standard 5" x 7" - classic A7 greeting card size

Card Style: Funny greeting card with vibrant, full-color front artwork and blank interior for personalized handwritten messages

What's Included: 1 card and 1 white Kraft self-seal envelope 

Paper Stock: Premium heavyweight 14pt (100 lb) archival-quality cardstock engineered for durability and a substantial hand-feel

Exterior Finish: Satin semi-gloss coating for crisp artwork detail, sharp contrast, and rich color reproduction

Interior Finish: Smooth uncoated matte writing surface for smudge-free notes with pens, markers, or pencils

Origin: Proudly designed and printed in the USA