You're Gettin' Too Old for This S--t Birthday Card
Product Description
Product Description
You're Gettin' Too Old for This S--t Birthday Card: Retro 80s Action Movie Parody Greeting Card
Skip the boring, generic drugstore greeting cards and celebrate another year around the sun with genuine cinematic attitude. The You're Gettin' Too Old for This S--t Birthday Card pays homage to the world's most exhausted action-movie detective with a detailed portrait of the iconic world-weary cop alongside bold retro lettering. Perfectly capturing that milestone moment when late nights hurt and quiet weekends reign supreme, this card delivers an instant laugh for milestone birthdays, over-the-hill parties, and weary coworkers.
Crafted for high-end presentation, each card measures 5" x 7" and is professionally printed on premium, heavy-weight luster greeting card stock that stands out proudly on any display mantel. The interior is left completely blank, providing ample space to write a heartfelt handwritten message, recount old memories, or roast the recipient about their creaking joints. Paired with a crisp matching mailing envelope, it is ready to ship or hand-deliver as an unforgettable novelty keepsake.
Retro 80s Action Movie Parody Greeting Card Specifications
- Dimensions: 5" x 7" folded
- Paper Stock: Premium high-quality luster greeting card stock
- Interior: Blank inside for personalized handwritten messages
- Envelope: Matching mailing envelope included
- Design: Detailed painted detective portrait with "YOU'RE GETTIN' TOO OLD FOR THIS S--T" typography
- Application: Milestone birthdays, over-the-hill celebrations, coworker gifts, and retro movie fans
Greeting Card Specifications
Greeting Card Specifications
Card Dimensions: Standard 5" x 7" - classic A7 greeting card size
Card Style: Funny greeting card with vibrant, full-color front artwork and blank interior for personalized handwritten messages
What's Included: 1 card and 1 white Kraft self-seal envelope
Paper Stock: Premium heavyweight 14pt (100 lb) archival-quality cardstock engineered for durability and a substantial hand-feel
Exterior Finish: Satin semi-gloss coating for crisp artwork detail, sharp contrast, and rich color reproduction
Interior Finish: Smooth uncoated matte writing surface for smudge-free notes with pens, markers, or pencils
Origin: Proudly designed and printed in the USA
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How long does it take to process an order?
How long does it take to process an order?
Orders are typically processed within 1–2 business days.
Do you ship internationally?
Do you ship internationally?
Yes, we offer international shipping to most countries.
What is your return policy?
What is your return policy?
We accept returns within 30 days of delivery.
